Is Compassion Related to Empathy?

When we experience Empathy for another person, we attempt to feel with them. This definition sounds close to our compati, in that we are trying to experience something together. The difference is that Compassion is based in suffering and action, whereas Empathy can span the range of emotions. The sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others is the key to suffering together. The link between empathy and compassion is that the latter requires us to DO SOMETHING. Compassion is the feeling that arises in witnessing another’s suffering that motivates a subsequent desire to help.

How do we practice compassion?

Learning a new set of skills can be challenging. It takes practice and patience. Having a list of rules that we can play by can also be helpful. We will start with a basic set of 5 skills involved in experiencing compassion more regularly. First, we have to recognize the suffering of another. Similar to empathy, this requires us know what suffering looks like. Second, we have to remember that everyone has struggles. Whatever a person’s background. Everyone must struggle through different parts of life. The third part of practicing compassion is connection to the person who is suffering. We must experience emotional resonance. And 4) tolerating the feelings brought about to the person who is suffering. Remaining open to the potentially uncomfortable emotions is important for action. If we can not handle how sad we feel, for example, we will struggle to reach out our hand to the person in need. Finally, we must be motivated to act. It takes an action on our part to help others. Although having empathy is a good start for us to improve our communities, it is insufficient on its own. There must be an action associated with the feelings of empathy that produce good in the life of another person.

What are the steps?

• Recognize suffering;
• Understanding the universality of suffering in human experience;
• Feeling empathy for the person suffering and connecting with the distress (emotional resonance);
• Tolerating uncomfortable feelings aroused in response to the suffering person (e.g., distress, anger, fear) so remaining open and accepting of the person suffering;
• Motivation to act/acting to alleviate suffering.

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Being curious about new people…

is a great way to expand empathy. When we are curious about people who live outside of our immediate social circles we explore worldviews that are different from our own. Something you can do in your lives is to put in the effort to get to know people in your school. Organize an event where different clubs can get together and socialize. Introduce yourself to the new student in your grade. You may find that those introductions broaden your horizons and expand your thinking.

Exploring our shared commonalities…

is another way to expand empathy. Doing so allows us to see that others are not so different from ourselves at a deep level. Sometimes we give different groups of people labels. We might do this based on an interaction we have with a member of that group. Or we might draw our conclusions based on the things we have heard about the people in that group. Try to challenge your assumptions about different groups so that you can connect to individual people. Connecting to another person always helps to build bridges between groups. The act of building those bridges creates compassionate relationships where they may not have existed before.

Pay attention to the experiences you thought you would never have.

After college, I moved out of state for graduate school. I was still covered by my parent’s health insurance, and one day I had to go to the hospital. While I was in a gown, and waiting for the Doctor to see me, someone from billing came into the room and told me that my insurance was not accepted at that hospital and I would either need to leave or pay out of pocket for the services. Although I had called the insurance company ahead of time to see that the services would be covered, being asked to leave left me deeply reflective about the state of our healthcare system. I had good insurance, and I could not get the treatment I needed. What if I had NO insurance?

It was an experience I thought I would never have. And, frankly, it was an experience I was not prepared for. It made me think a number of things. I thought about being an un/under-insured parent and not being able to get healthcare for a sick child about not having insurance. And how much my parents were paying for their insurance. I thought about how lucky I was, and that there were folks who were not so lucky. From that moment, I have tried hard to pay attention to those experiences where I feel surprised.

Consider the proper action associated with the feelings of empathy.

We turn our thoughts of empathy into compassion through acts of kindness. Practice noticing your empathetic responses. And then work hard to exercise the empathy-muscle. Once you are practicing empathy, figure out what action is going to make the situation better. What are you going to do to create compassion in the world, from the empathy you experience moment-to-moment?

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