Enjoy! And remember, you have the power to make a difference in the lives of those around you.

Stand4Kind

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The dog, the bird, and the fisherman…

What I absolutely loved about this film is how many layers of our world exist in the interaction between the little dog on the boat and the apparent worm-thief. At first, the dog attempts to alert his owner to the presence of a bird stealing the fish bait, and the owner rebukes the dog with each (noisy) alert. The dog has a decision to make: do I do what I believe to be the right thing–by telling my master–even though I am being punished for it; or do I ignore the bird and let her quietly steal of the worms. As the bird appears to be a bit of a rascal, the dog continues to alert his owner, despite being punished for it. This seemed to be a fitting metaphor for much of our lives. There are, indeed, times where you are standing on ground that you believe to be firm and just. And you find yourself standing alone. It takes courage to continue to stand up for what you believe. But, it also takes a bit of humility to explore what ELSE might be happening that you have failed to consider.

The power of empathy

That is the next step of the video. The fisherman becomes aware of the thieving aviator and scares her off for good. The dog watches the bird fly back to her nest, where he sees three hungry babies waiting for the spoils of their mother’s hunt for food. How many times in your life have you hear the term Empathy? Well, sometimes you get a reminder of why empathy and kindness are so closely related. It can be difficult to be kind, if we are failing to attempt to feel what others might be feeling. We can miss our connection to others when we simply make assumptions about them. We must remember to slow down. Consider what someone might be going through. Consider what would cause you to behave the same way. Only then can we connect deeply to others.

Empathy and Kindness

Once the dog empathizes with the bird, the dog knows what to do. Without concern for himself, or the fisherman he accompanies, he offers the rest of the worms to the bird. So that her children may eat. The dog does this without thought of reward, and without considering what this might mean for his master, the fisherman. The dog is doing what he is capable of doing for another being in need. That is kindness. When we go out of our way for someone else. And, sometimes, just like in the video, when we do a kindness to another, the favor is returned 10-fold. Get out in the world and connect to people where you can. Show kindness to strangers, and watch that kindness spread all around you.

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Can a zebra change its stripes?

Consider a person with an extroverted personality. This person loves social interaction. They are the life of the party, and feel wonderful when surrounded by lots of people. They engage strangers at the grocery store, or in line at the bakery. Now, imagine they tried to “make the decision” to live a reserved, quiet, isolated life. Never again spending time in larger groups, avoiding new interactions with people while walking through their neighborhood. You are correct in thinking that this adjustment would be a monumental sacrifice for a person who, normally, is energized by engaging with people.

Exploring my values…

Values are similar. While we can bend the values we have in order to help us be as successful as possible, we can not simply make up new values for ourselves. What we can do, however, is identify the areas where we would like to be stronger and put effort into building those things up. Here are a couple things to consider when assessing what your values are:

1. Who are the people you admire?
   • Taking a look at the people you admire, and assessing what it is that you admire about them, can help you identify what some of your values might be. This might be people in your life, or even characters in your favorite novels.
2. What moments inspire you to action?
   • It is often the case that our values manifest themselves through our actions. Consider the things that you stand for.
   • What moments in your life cause you to stop what you were doing to intervene? These moments might help you understand your values more deeply.
3. When do you feel most natural?
   • Consider the moments in your life where you feel most connected to yourself. Is that moment one where you are reading a book, exercising, or talking with friends? Maybe you just aced a difficult exam.
   • Feeling “congruent,” like the world inside you is matched up with the world outside of you, is a really good way to identify the moments you may be living out your values. Pay attention next time you are in one of those moments.

What next?

Search Google for a “List of Values” and see what types of words strike you. Consider picking out 3-5 words that really strike you. How would you define those different values? What actions do you believe reinforce that value in your life? What kinds of things could you accomplish if you really tried to live out these values every day? And is there more that you could do to incorporate these values in your daily life?

Check out some of our other posts, as well:

Man’s Search for Meaning

Personality: The heart of diversity

What is Leadership?

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The Observing Self v. The Conceptualized Self

People often describe themselves in terms of their self-self-percieved role in the world. For example: “I am a nice guy,” “I am a people person,” “I am a hard worker,” or “I am a parent of two kids.”  We clump these little snippets of ourselves together in order to form a larger narrative about who we are, and our place(s) in the world. “That’s just the way I am,” is an often popular sentiment. And the conclusion to the sentence “I am a person who _____ ,“ is the beginning of a statement capable of generating scores of reasonable and accurate responses.

This kind of thinking is a slippery slope, however, and it is pretty easy to understand why. Over time we generate dozens of these little self-stories that fuse with our identity and form our persona. Defining who we are. And becoming what we say we are is one of our greatest ambitions. We want to be congruent. We—the observing-self—are trying to be who we—the conceptualized-self—say/think we are. And in the event that, for whatever reason, our personal story about ourselves changes we now have to reconcile that change. To our own self, and the world around us.

Problem of being fused to the conceptualized self:

Think about an example of a girl who graduated at the top of her high school class. She dreamt about becoming a lawyer. She talked with her family and friends about her goals. In college she did well in her classes but during her Junior year she decided that law school was just not a good fit. Can you imagine how difficult this conclusion might be for her? Especially if she has been wrestling privately with this decision for weeks, months, or even years. How difficult would it be to see her friends on summer break and explain the reasons law was not longer her passion?

Well, if she is not fused to her conceptualized-self it should not be terribly difficult. After all, people change their minds all the time. However, in building up this conceptualized version of herself attempts to make changes could be met with great resistance. Not only internally, but externally as well. This might lead a person to attempt to maintain congruence between their attachment to their conceptualized self and their observing-self.

The alternative is being filled with guilt about disinterest in law school. Telling your friends that you had a change of heart seems difficult. Taking yourself seriously may seem more difficult. After all, you abandon a long held belief. What’ might you abandon next? Conversations about your future are something you may not fully understand yourself. And we are expected to explain, or defend these decisions to other people? Friends and family simply want what is best for us. We know that. The difficulty is that they adopted our believe that Law school was what’s best for us. Now, they need to have that believe structure modified.

“Fusion with the conceptualized-self can lead to an attempt to maintain consistency by distorting or reinterpreting events if they seem inconsistent with the self-story.”

What about another example?

Imagine that I believe myself to be a kind person. Believing that I am kind, I may have a very difficult time interpreting my own behavior as unkind. In fact, if I am fused to the concept that I am kind person, I may distort or reinterpret events in order to maintain consistency with my self-story. This is a common attribution error made by people who bully others—‘I couldn’t possibly be a bully, I was just joking around.’ Our goal should be one of stepping away from our conceptualized-self so that we can weaken those attachments, and more realistically assess if we are living according to our values. Again, “fusion with the conceptualized-self can lead to an attempt to maintain consistency by distorting or reinterpreting events if they seem inconsistent with the self-story” (Hayes, Strosahl, & Wilson, 2012).

What can we do to integrate ourselves?

So, how do we battle against the tendency to build attachments to the conceptualized versions of ourselves? The first step is to take an open, loving, and accepting perspective of yourself. Being conscious of your own reality can also help you empathize with others. The second benefit to taking an open perspective of yourself could be that you allow yourself to process changes as they happen, in the moment. In the example of the young pre-law student above, if she took and open/accepting perspective, she may have noticed that her values shifting from law, to something else.

Trouble comes when those kinds of things sneak up on us. And out of nowhere, create chaos in a place where we thought was organized and structured. The second way to make congruent the relationship between the observing-self and conceptualized-self is to align your actions with your personal values. In that case, your observing-self can always look at your conceptualized-self and consider whether your actions are moving you closer or further from your valued endpoint.

An activity to conclude:

We could even use this strategy to better understand if we are making the “right” choices. or not. We know what is “right” based on whether our choices produce an outcome that we find acceptable. Lastly, self-as-context is deeply related to mindfulness. And it might be helpful to try an activity to illustrate the point:

if you are concerned that your conceptualized-self is dominating your observing-self, close your eyes and simply notice your thoughts. Notice where they are around/inside/above/below you. Notice if they are pictures, or sounds, or a movie playing along in your mind. Bring your attention to the fact that your thoughts are ‘over there,’ and you are the one who is observing them. Now, bring your attention to how you are sitting. Notice what you can see, smell, taste, and hear. At each of those points, bring your attention to the fact that you are noticing (e.g., notice how you are sitting, and as you do, be aware that you are noticing).

Bringing ourselves into the present moment in a mindful and conscious way will help us to remain oriented to our observing-self. Which will help us remain de-fused from our conceptualized-self. After all, it is ok to remain flexible throughout our lives while we develop our Values, and attempt to live meaningful lives.

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How do we talk to our kids about alcohol? How do we talk to our kids about alcohol in a way that prevents them from using it? As a parent, having those “tough conversations,” with your teen can be difficult. You know they probably don’t want to talk to you about drinking. And they seem to not really want you talking to them about drinking either. Most of the conversations are filled with “I know, mom/dad; I know…” Trying to relate to your child’s experience can also be difficult, and saying things like “I was young, once,” seems to usually lack the impact that you were hoping for. Well, there are some simple and proven methods to prevent your kids from using drugs and alcohol. And the great news is, there is evidence to show these prevention measures work!

Parental alcohol use disapproval

First, a little background. In 2019 the Utah Division of Substance Abuse & Mental Health conducted a survey called the Prevention Needs Assessment Survey. The survey—which included almost 50,000 Utah students from grades 6, 8, 10, and 12—asked a series of questions about young people’s attitudes on a range of issues from substance abuse, to bullying, to mental health. In 2019, 91.4% of Utah students indicated that their parents felt it was “Very Wrong” for them to use alcohol—which likely contributes to Utah being the lowest state in the nation for youth alcohol consumption. Of those 91.5%, only 3.4% of them had had a drink of alcohol in the last 30-days. The same nationwide average is almost twice that, at 9.2%. And only 12.4% of Utah teens reported drinking alcohol at any point in their lifetimes, compared to over 60% of youth nationwide.

When we consider the 5.9% of Utah students who reported that their parents “agree with [alcohol] use, somewhat,” 20.6% had had a drink of alcohol in the last 30-days and over half (50.8%) had consumed alcohol at least once in their lifetime. If a student reported that their parents endorsed feelings that underage drinking was “not wrong at all,” the likelihood the student had consumed alcohol jumped from 3.4% to 41.0%.

What does parental disapproval look like?

Given this information, parents should feel confident that one of the most important things they can do is to simply tell their children that they do not approve of them drinking alcohol underage. When young people know that those people they look up to disapprove of a certain behavior, they are less likely to engage in that behavior. Young people who feel as though they are a valued part of the family, are exposed to opportunities to participate meaningfully in the responsibilities and activities of the family, and receive praise from parents and siblings for a job well done are less likely to engage in substance use.

These are just a few examples of familial protective factors that “protect” young people from drug use. There are protective factors that wrap all around a child to insulate them from potentially harmful behaviors. Things like community, school, religious groups, sports teams, and personal responsibility can all contribute to a resilient adolescent. But, next to the parents of a young person, not are perceived as highly as a young person’s friends.

Peer disapproval

Whether or not a young person’s friends drink alcohol is another significant predictor of whether they will drink. Think about the friendships that children have as their first independent steps forward into world. One of the first significant choices they make. Young people come into school with their family’s values behind them, and leave school having melded those values with those of their friends. It is not a surprise, therefore, that young people who associate with peers who engage in substance use are much more likely to engage in the same behaviors.

In fact, young people are even more concerned about what their friends would think about their decision to use alcohol than the direct risks involved with doing so. Young people whose friends drink alcohol are much less likely to view the behavior as risky, and are more likely to receive reward for drinking behaviors from their peer group. School commitment has been shown to be a risk factor for substance abuse, and young people who have low commitment to school are likely to find peers who share the same values. Also increasing the vulnerability to substance use.

Encouraging young people chose friends carefully

It may be difficult for us to predict who our children will be friends with. But it is clear that we want the friends they make to share the values and expectations that we have for them. It may be the case that we, as parents, might want to organize a get-together with the parents of our children’s friends and talk to them about our expectations around drinking. I can concretely remember parents of my peers were less concerned about their kids—or me, for that matter—drinking. And it showed in the attitudes they held about alcohol. Who our children chose to be friends with matters. And parents have the ability to influence the attitudes about alcohol that their children endorse—both internally, and to their friends.

Next steps for alcohol prevention

Talking about alcohol can be a comfortable, and straight forward conversation. Let your kids know that you want them to wait until they are 21 to decide about whether or not they want to incorporate alcohol in their lives. Help your child connect with peers who share the same values. Those peers will support your child in making the right choices in all of those moments when you are not around. Additionally, encourage your children and their friends to spend time in the homes of people who agree with your stance on youth substance abuse.

Check out some of our other posts:

What is Leadership?

Social Media – Tool or trap?

Bullying in our schools – Data from the CDC

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            So, if the purpose of values is to moderate our behavior and help us experience a meaningful life then we ultimately need to act on those values in order to create the world that we want to live in. That is the idea of Committed Action, the final step in the ACT model. Steven Hayes suggests that “committed action is a choice to behave in a particular way on purpose…so that individual moments of action have the potential to lead to larger patterns of values-based behavior.” We might think about a marriage as one example. In my marriage, if my wife brings me coffee in the morning and it makes me grateful for the relationship we have together, it is not directly related to the coffee. After all, my co-worker brought me coffee last week, and I am not married to them! So, what is it about my wife bringing me coffee that makes me reflect on how grateful I am for the relationship? My wife bringing me coffee is not viewed as simply a cup of coffee, it is a reflection of our long history together, our families bonded together, the life we have built together, and the future that we hope to reside in. You discover that marriage is not really one giant thing, but a million little decision over a long period of time. Which is what the notion of ‘individual moments of action having the potential to lead to larger patterns of values-based behavior’means to me.

            Although we don’t want get caught living from goal-to-goal, goals are still an important part of life, and should be related to our values. Once we consider our values, we should be developing goals—specific achievements sought after in service to a particular value—that are in line with those values so that we can consider what actions can be taken to move us closer to those goals. Slow and incremental improvement can move us forward momentously over time—and we should start by asking how can we become a slightly better version of ourselves tomorrow? When I think about the smallest areas of my life that I could improve, those tasks start to feel manageable. I should think about each of the areas of my life where I exist (e.g., domains: family, friendships, school, sports teams, community, health, spirituality, etc.) and consider what is my valued direction in this area—what do I want—and what is the smallest step that I could take to move forward? This kind of process is at the heart of behavioral therapies commonly used in mental healthcare because they work so well! When we consider our goals, we should try to break them down into steps that are as small as we can manage, while being slightly difficult and out of our comfort zone. We definitely don’t want to fail outright, because that would be very discouraging, but we want to engage at level that we COULD fail but probably won’t. If I want to exercise it might not be realistic for me to go for a run, but it could be realistic for me to go for a walk! Similarly, there may be times where we don’t even know the scope of the goal we are trying to accomplish. Think about setting a goal of not playing video games, or not spending too much time on social media. An initial goal might be something ambiguous, like “I want to spend less time on social media,” or “I want to spend less time playing games;” however, those are not goal that are easy to monitor. You could start by taking the smallest step possible: Figure out how many hours per week you actually spend playing video games/using social media. That will not require us to do anything but watch the clock. And once we figure out that we spend 4 ½ hours per day playing games/on social media, we can wrap our minds around the hours per week (18), and what that might mean for us to change our behavior.

            So let’s recap: 1) pick a domain in your life; 2) identify the valued direction you would like to move; 3) create a goal—an attainable event related to a particular value; 4) identify the barriers that may exist; and finally, 5) break your goal down into the smallest chunk possible that would still be both challenging AND attainable. Doing these things is going to keep you on the path to committed action, and making those small decision every day that will add up to a lifetime of value and meaning!!

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            We can find our identity in our values. And remember that we explore our values using Mindfulness. After all, in order for us to explore our identity we must first be engaged with ourselves—in the present moment. Exploring inside of ourselves will help us excavate bits and pieces of our values, and those values will point us in the direction of who we are, and where we fit in. Once we start paying attention and remaining fully connected to the present moment in a way that helps us to act in line with our values, starting to understand what the different parts of our identity are becomes simple. Once I know that I value Family, Hard Work, Friendship, Honesty, and Physical Health, I can start to explore where those values fit in to my identity.

            We can think about the different parts of our identity like a bunch of different worlds that we live in. For example, who I am in my “Marriage-world,” may be a little different that my “Sibling-world;” who I am in my “Work-world,” may be a little different than who I am in my “Friendship-world;” and who I am in my “Sports-world,” is likely different that my behavior in the Classroom-world.” This is where values and identity meet. Because in all of these different places, although I may act differently from place to place, it is important that my values shine through in each place in the same way. Although I might behave differently with my friends than I do when I am at work (even though I get to work with many people who happen to be friends as well!), but my values are the consistent link between the two: Hard Work and Honesty will be links between the two different components of my identity. 

            First thing first: explore what your values might be. It helps to make a list (we will include some examples below). After identifying some of your prized values, think about all of the different worlds you live (the places that contribute to your identity (I will include an illustration below, as well). Once you list a few of the different worlds you live in, link the values you selected to each of those places, wherever they fit (Truth is a great value that happens to work well in every part of a persons identity!). And remember, in each of those areas that make up our identity, are a whole bunch of people who have similar values, goals, and desires that we do! We are all eager to meet people, find connection, create meaningful experiences, and live life to the fullest!

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            What a journey! Even writing that paragraph above is a reminder of how much amazing material Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) has to offer, and how much material we have covered over the last 5-weeks. (If you are just joining us in this series, I would encourage you to read all about psychological flexibility in our previous blog posts.) A ton of questions always come to mind when I think about values: 1) what are they; 2) how do I identify them; 3) where do they come from; 4) how do I know if mine are any good; 5) can I pick my values, or are they inside of me already and waiting for me to discover them? Well, hopefully by the end of this post the concept of values will feel a little less ambiguous, and maybe it will get you thinking about what you might say your values are in this moment. 

             Imagine that I put to boxes that were identical in every way in front of you and said “pick one.” You may have a number of questions, but given that I refuse to answer any questions or differentiate the boxes in any way from one another, you chose the second box. Why did you choose the second box? Well, the choice was completely arbitrary, and your answer might be “I don’t know, I just picked one.” It is easy to see how the consequence of this choice would have very little outcome on a person’s life, even if there were ¢5 cents inside the box they chose and $50 in the box they did not choose, there is no way to be attached to the outcome because the decision was made randomly. One key to values is that they are freely chosen and they reinforce our activities, motivating us to make some choices over others. Said another way: we cannot value everything, and we have to make choices about what things we do value because the scope of our values is limited. We cannot value everything equally, and if you have ever had several tough classes at once you may remember that you probably did not weigh each class the same, spending equal time preparing for multimedia as you did for Honors Chemistry. This helps us understand how we answer our first question above (what are values?): values are the fundamental beliefs that guide & motivate us, and that exist behind our behaviors. 

The power of values, questioned by point number 2 (how do I identify them?) is that we can look at our behavior and see if it matches what we believe our values to be. This can be very motivational in the sense that we can find incongruence between valued life directions (e.g., being a good friend) and our current behaviors (i.e., knowing that I have not made enough time for my close friendships, lately). Finding these areas where we are incongruent can help us identify our values, and move in a more valued direction. Another way to reflect on our values is simply to look at the areas of our lives where we believe ourselves to really shine! Knowing that you enjoy spirituality, physical fitness, or deep and meaningful interpersonal relationships, can help you identify some of the things you value over other areas of your life that you may value less (maybe at the moment Marriage/Intimate Relationships, for example, is not a “value” that you hold). Where these things come from—point #3—can seem like a mystery; however, we can remember that since a critical feature of values is that they are “freely chosen,” in some sense we get to decide how we prioritize our values, but we would have difficulty creating our own values from nothing. To find what is meaningful to us, we have to explore who we are as an individual. In some cases we can look back at our own behavior and excavate some of our values, we can read great books, and think about the people we admire, and through that process we can discover some of the things we value. And then we can close the amount of incongruence that lives between our actions and those things we value to push ourselves in a goal-directed way. Along that process of discovering our values, and by extension discovering who we are, we may find that we have an internal ‘nature’ that we have to contend with. That we may value some things other people do, but we are fundamentally different than other people. For example, I can tell you with certainty that I see value in the work of software engineers, and engineers of all types for that matter—my father was an engineer; however, I can tell you with certainty that my personality is one who needs to interact with people, often and deeply. Therefore, sitting in front of a computer designing a bridge, or software program, or iPhone App, is probably not a place where I will find that I am thriving as a person. But I sure am grateful that other people do find great meaning in those areas. They have the ability to make the world a better place!

So, we arrive at point #4, how you know if your values are any good! Well behavioral psychologists have a basic theory as to how to approach this problem. We start living! More specifically, we attempt to live out our values, and we watch what happens as a result. If one of my values is interpersonal relationships, then I should try to be the best friend that I can be and ideally, I would see my existing friendships deepen and become more meaningful, and I would see new friendships begin to emerge. I would know this was a positive outcome if I begin to experience an ideal future. But what happens if in reality as I gain new friendships, my existing relationships begin to suffer in a way that was unexpected and unappreciated? Well, then I need to think about how I am living my values, because something happened that was unexpected (losing friendships), and I need to assess why. Now, consider whether we can pick our values. We touched on this briefly above when we talked about discovering our values, and it seems very unlikely that I could just decide to become a long-distance runner; however, the wonderful thing about values is, again, that we get to choose. We get start ACTING like a runner: maybe we start getting up early, walking regularly or jogging, signing up for a 5k with a friend, who knows…Maybe that’s exactly how someone becomes a runner, one step at a time J

And maybe that’s how we connect with our values. Just take things one step at a time. 

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People are used to following a whole bunch of rules while we live our lives: you stop at red lights, when there is a line, stand in it, and never propose at someone else’ wedding! But there is an even more basic rule about what has motivated us throughout our history: put simply, we should attempt to avoid ‘bad’ things, and seek out ‘good’ things. You can see how this kind of thinking served us well for a long time. We should avoid cold, and seek warmth; we should avoid danger, and seek safety; we should avoid people who want to harm us, and seek those who want to embrace us. One can see how this kind of thinking worked well for a long time; however, things got complicated when we started using language to describe not only the world around us, but the world inside of us.

            We use words to label a wide range of feelings (e.g., anxiety, sadness, fear, happiness, joy, love), and we have simultaneously transcribed those emotions on our original axiom of avoiding bad and seeking good. So, it is natural for us to believe that anxiety, stress, and fear are bad and should be avoided, and that happiness, joy, and love are good, and should be sought after. While it is easy to arrive at that conclusion, we forget that anxiety, sadness, and fear are simply emotional responses to aversive events. Not the events themselves. This idea is at the center of experiential avoidance, and it stops us from being able to make the voluntary and values-based choice to remain in contact with personal experiences in a non-judgmental way. Let’s think about an example: applying for college. This is a huge undertaking that often takes months or even years of planning, taking the SAT/ACT, writing personal statements, asking teachers and mentors to write letters of recommendation, researching schools, the expense and time involved in applications, and the risk that you might do all that work, and not get into the college you hoped for. Even though the entire process is incredibly stressful and gives us the feeling that turning back would be the best thing, we persist. Even though we might get rejected, we persist. And the reason we persist, is because we know that the upside (going to college) will be worth it, even if we have to endure a bumpy road along the way. Well, the harm of experiential avoidance comes when we let the stress involved in the application process turn us around, running the other way, before we even get the chance to fail. Moving toward something that we really want often brings out negative thoughts and feelings (e.g., What if I fail; What if it doesn’t work out;What if we break up), and moving away from those thoughts brings relief, even though we may have been moving toward something that would bring us a lifetime of fulfillment. If we act as though our goal is to avoid stressful emotions, we start to construct our lives around avoiding things that we don’t want, instead of moving toward things that we do want.

            Well, what do we do to fight against those negative feelings that come up while we work toward things that we think matter? We have to keep in mind that those feelings are simply a normal reaction to values-based action. Acceptance is a values-based choice, not failure or tolerance, not giving-up or giving in. The goal of acceptance is to acknowledge that we are demanded by life itself to feel, think, sense, and remember the things that come up in the process of living a meaningful life. It is to acknowledge the fact that while we pursue the things that are important to us, we can expect to encounter rough waters. We can expect to second guess ourselves, and to have people we care about second guessing us. But attempting to scour out the (alleged) sources of our anxiety so that we can control them will always leave us trying to dig our way out of a hole. Instead, we should opt to curiously explore the nature of our anxiety, our fears, and our stressors, so that we can change our response from running away from stress, to accepting that stress is a normal part of our lives, and does not have to inhibit our movement toward our values. There are several things that we can do to increase the likelihood that we choose acceptancev. avoidance: 1) always remember that regardless of what it may look like on social media, EVERYONE is going to experience bumps in the road, and we should be very careful when we think that it would just be easier to trade places with someone else; 2) remember that moving towards the things that we value can present with difficult times, but weathering the storm will be worth it; and 3) know that feelings of stress and fear, and anxiety, and depression can be very normal things that we all experience!^[1]

^[1]If your feelings of anxiety or depression are lasting longer than a couple of days, and reaching several weeks or months, that could indicate a clinical diagnosis that ought to be referred to medical professionals for further support; additionally, thoughts of suicide or self-harm should also be treated as an emergency and seek evaluation

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